According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, the definitions of the word “perfect” are: having no mistakes or flaws; having all the qualities you want in that kind of person; being entirely without fault or defect.
So many of us live our lives believing this to be the truth, striving for perfection. Wanting the perfect day, the perfect partner, the perfect family, the perfect life, even the perfect death. Think about that for a moment. If we were perfect, if it all was perfect, what would we have to strive for during our journey on this earthly plane?
Growing up, I thought that everything in my life had to be perfect, that I had to be perfect. To me that meant that my hair, clothes, and makeup had to be without flaw or I wouldn’t be attractive or pretty enough. I had to know the answers to everything or I’d feel embarrassed and unworldly for not knowing things that others knew. I had to carry myself in such a way that others would approve and not see any faults or defects in me. Everyone had to like me and want to be around me. I wanted and needed to be perfect.
When I was 15, my father’s music business career forced our family to move to South Florida from New York. It felt like my perfect world was completely rocked as I left my junior high friends, aunts, uncles and cousins behind. Three years later, we lost my 2nd oldest brother to a drug overdose, and that following year, my father’s business partnership went under. I began to wonder if it was possible that life was not meant to be perfect? Yet, as a young adult I still thought that perfection was what I needed to succeed in life.
In my twenties, while waiting to interview for an executive assistant position, I stood in the doorway of a gentleman’s office who was on vacation. I noticed the empty chair and the nameplate on his desk and said to myself, “I wonder if this is the man I will marry some day.” Almost 10 years later to the date of that interview, we did marry.
Shelton was wise beyond his years, a very loving and caring man. He taught me that life is not perfect, and that we are here to learn lessons during this journey that we are on. He encouraged me to look at both sides of every situation, to see the depth of beauty and goodness that surrounds us and to learn from the sorrows that we may encounter. Shelton passed away in April 2000 from cancer. Again my world was rocked. Being perfect was no longer important to me. What became important was finding balance and harmony in my life, not striving for perfection any longer. I had to find the strength and courage to move forward without the love of my life by my side.
In my 40’s and early 50’s, I became an oncology nurse and energy medicine practitioner and instructor. I learned to embrace life from a heart-centered, compassionate, and non-judgmental state, letting go of the need for being perfect. These two careers have taught me how unique we all are from the physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and energetic aspects of our being. I utilize this guidance and wisdom in my daily practice to help others heal and transform their own lives.
I am forever grateful for these lessons, as they have brought balance and harmony to my own unique self.